hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
