Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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