Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
