I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
