guys are not supposed to queef...right?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
