you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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