I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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