I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
