evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
