yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
