Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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