when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
