he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
