I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
