i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
