STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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