I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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