My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
