So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
