is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
