Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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