I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
