hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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