I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
