Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
