they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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