Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
