Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
