Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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