yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
