ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
