brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
handjob tips. give me some.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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