Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
