I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
