i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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