Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
