You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
