Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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