Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need water and some morals
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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