You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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