My room smells like vodka and shame
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
