He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this boner is exhausting
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
