just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
