I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
