What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
