In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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