what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
