I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
