so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
