I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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